Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize