how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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