How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize