Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
We just shotgunned beers for America
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Randomize
