"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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