Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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