I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
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