ugly people sure do ruin things
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I need a burrito and a hug.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
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