Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Randomize