The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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