I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
