I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize
