Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Randomize
