i can't believe i had my finger in that
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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