The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
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i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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