I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
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