Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
