sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
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