Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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