you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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