Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
