I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
home. puking in laundry basket.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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