I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
