Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
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