It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Randomize
