We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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