yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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