How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
