people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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