...so i touched it.
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
