I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
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