Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Randomize
