Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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