im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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