tell your sister to shave her snatch
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
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