Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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