if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
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