have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
