Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
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