I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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