Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
