yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
Are we still banned from the library?
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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