i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Operation Purity has been aborted
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize