So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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