Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Define "chronic" masturbator.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
She tied me up with her honor cords...
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
