I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Randomize
