Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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