think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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