i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Randomize
