Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
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