i wish starbucks made bloody marys
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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