In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
