youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
No subtext here. People are naked.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
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