My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.