Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (816): View more from Missouri

  I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (816): I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins. http://tfl.nu/76g5
  Replies (8) Good night (3086) Bad night (596)
• Favorite

  (973): View more from New Jersey

  I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (973): I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like. http://tfl.nu/4kjo
  Replies (13) Good night (4935) Bad night (728)
• Favorite

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (615): took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now http://tfl.nu/5whe
  Replies (7) Good night (1185) Bad night (2562)
• Favorite

  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  We welcome drunken adversity.

  (1-724): View more from Pennsylvania

  With open legs.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (724): We welcome drunken adversity. (1-724): With open legs. http://tfl.nu/iqs6
  Replies (12) Good night (3742) Bad night (1358)
• Favorite

  (646): View more from New York

  Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel

  (773): View more from Illinois

  Only the gays

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (646): Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel (773): Only the gays http://tfl.nu/jfsv
  Replies (8) Good night (996) Bad night (1387)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (617): She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI. http://tfl.nu/ewv2
  Replies (6) Good night (1767) Bad night (578)
• Favorite

  (269): View more from Michigan

  We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (269): We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable. http://tfl.nu/14d9
  Replies (3) Good night (1646) Bad night (623)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (412): I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine. (412): Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out. http://tfl.nu/kfiz
  Replies (4) Good night (1706) Bad night (513)
• Favorite

  (913): View more from Kansas

  She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (913): She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car? http://tfl.nu/qi3u
  Replies (13) Good night (1413) Bad night (626)
• Favorite

  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (262): I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry. http://tfl.nu/6bad
  Replies (2) Good night (427) Bad night (594)
• Favorite

  (708): View more from Illinois

  Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (708): Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves. http://tfl.nu/d1rk
  Replies (3) Good night (394) Bad night (713)
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (330): What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed? http://tfl.nu/wlz7
  Replies (1) Good night (488) Bad night (312)
• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (410): he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco" http://tfl.nu/ntm8
  Replies (4) Good night (1009) Bad night (343)
• Favorite

  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (405): Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe. http://tfl.nu/6c5y
  Replies (0) Good night (339) Bad night (519)
• Favorite

  (845): View more from New York

  Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (845): Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex http://tfl.nu/w82y
  Replies (3) Good night (189) Bad night (482)

Randomize