Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
23 Fathers Confess The Best Way They’ve Messed With Their Daughter’s Boyfriend
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
25 Children of Helicopter Parents Admit The Most Horrible Thing They Were Put Through
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina