Texts From Last Night

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  (208): View more from Idaho

  i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?

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  (208): i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good? http://tfl.nu/cjn1
  Replies (4) Good night (4143) Bad night (840)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.

  (573): View more from Missouri

  Successful day.

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  (512): I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave. (573): Successful day. http://tfl.nu/6nom
  Replies (26) Good night (4367) Bad night (1272)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!

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  (360): Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!! http://tfl.nu/gtc6
  Replies (10) Good night (4047) Bad night (1004)
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.

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  (757): I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling. http://tfl.nu/uymu
  Replies (6) Good night (985) Bad night (2201)
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  (863): View more from Florida

  she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?

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  (863): she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know? http://tfl.nu/bmzo
  Replies (6) Good night (768) Bad night (4427)
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.

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  (613): Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth. http://tfl.nu/rte8
  Replies (1) Good night (2808) Bad night (1012)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.

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  (404): I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around. http://tfl.nu/j7r2
  Replies (7) Good night (738) Bad night (1626)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.

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  (503): ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help. http://tfl.nu/liab
  Replies (9) Good night (1038) Bad night (619)
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  (740): View more from Ohio

  I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.

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  (740): I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper. http://tfl.nu/p7ov
  Replies (4) Good night (1283) Bad night (569)
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  (320): View more from Minnesota

  Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.

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  (320): Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store. http://tfl.nu/lfii
  Replies (3) Good night (1375) Bad night (351)
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  (616): View more from Michigan

  If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out

  (417): View more from Missouri

  You'd think the first few times would have been enough

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  (616): If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out (417): You'd think the first few times would have been enough http://tfl.nu/z7d7
  Replies (10) Good night (586) Bad night (1420)
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  (727): View more from Florida

  She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.

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  (727): She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public. http://tfl.nu/wfd0
  Replies (3) Good night (912) Bad night (555)
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  (907): View more from Alaska

  Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.

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  (907): Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy. http://tfl.nu/fd5d
  Replies (2) Good night (1313) Bad night (430)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.

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  (360): Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve. http://tfl.nu/vuq2
  Replies (0) Good night (539) Bad night (168)
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  (252): View more from North Carolina

  Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0

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  (252): Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0 http://tfl.nu/k7y9
  Replies (0) Good night (438) Bad night (220)

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