she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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