I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Randomize
