yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
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