TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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