saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Im part way to drunk.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Randomize
