Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
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