I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Randomize
