i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
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