omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
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