my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Randomize
