is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Randomize
