Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
