So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
