I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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