Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I need a burrito and a hug.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize
