3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
