And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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