I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
being pregnant is like rehab
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
