FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
